These Songs Are A Total Waste
by Super Shayde
Summary: A collection of Harry Potter Songs! [23 Chapters So far]
1. Ode To Extendable Ears

This Song Is A Total Waste

Summary: A Harry Potter song, to the tune of 'London Bridge is Falling Down'.

Disclaimer: BLAH BLAH BLAH!

Fred and George: We have lots of extendable ears

Extendable ears

Extendable ears

We have lots of extendable ears

Because we are cool

Fred: Lets go listen to what the Order's saying

What the Order's saying

What the Order's saying

Lets go listen to what the Order's saying

Because we're nosy!

Dumbledore: I would like to discuss my love for socks

Love for socks

Love for socks

I would like to discuss my love for socks

Because they are warm

George: Well that was a total waste

Total waste

Total waste

Well that was a total waste

And so is this song.

Mrs. Weasley: Boys what are you doing

Are you doing

Are you doing

Boys what are you doing

It cannot be good

Fred and George: Oh come on mum we're having fun

Having fun

Having fun

Oh come on mum we're having fun

Please believe us!

Mrs. Weasley: I don't believe you

Believe you

Believe you

I don't believe you

So don't even try to suck up!

Fred and George: Aw man this is stupid

Is stupid

Is stupid

Aw man this is stupid

And now we're grounded!

Hermione: Well it serves you right

Serves you right

Serves you right

Well it serves you right

Because you're immature!

Fred and George: Shut up and go study

Go study

Go study  
Shut up and go study

Because you're a swot!

Hermione: Now I'm going to huff off

To huff off

To huff off

Now I'm going to huff off

Because I'm sensitive!

Harry: Why did Hermione just storm off

Just storm off

Just storm off

Why did Hermione just storm off

What did you two do?

Fred and George: Nothing Harry, you wouldn't understand

Wouldn't understand

Wouldn't understand

Nothing Harry, you wouldn't understand

And this is the end of the song!


	2. Ode To Lily

Disclaimer: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

Summary: Hi. So I decided to post the 'odes' my guild on Neopets made as a series with my little Fred and George song. Hope you like them! This song was created by Super Shayde(aka Manda aka Me) and watergal01(aka Lily aka Aly)…

Ode To Lily 

Your hair is like a fwoopers feathers  
You'd live best in a home by the Scottish heathers  
You're really good at Charms, not like Sirius  
You make me feel really delirious  
I'd give up my broom for you  
I think about you all the time- even in the loo  
Your eyes are like to emeralds  
I'd love you even if you were bald  
Your skin's so light and creamy  
When I see you I get dreamy  
I love you even though you seem to hate me  
I bet if you were a dragon you would've ate me  
But I don't care  
I'll always be there  
To put toffee in your hair


	3. Ode To Lily II

Disclaimer: This song is property of watergal01(Lily)

Ode to Lily Part II  
Sung by the Marauders to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland

James: Lily dear, are you listenin'?  
Your eyes sure are glistenin'!  
A beautiful sight, you are tonight,  
walkin' down the Howarts corridor.

Marauders: In the courtyard we can have a snow fight  
And we can all gang up on Snape!!!  
James'll ask you out but you'll say "No, Sir!"  
But you can snog in a broom closet anywayyy!

Later on, we'll perspire  
as we sit by the fire  
Remus: The friends that we make...  
Sirius: People we prank....  
Peter: Walking down the Hogwarts... Hogwarts... ER, help!  
James: sight -Corridor, you git!-  
Peter: OHHHH, Walking down the Hogwarts Corridor you git!


	4. Ode To James

Disclaimer: Property of Lily.

Ode to James  
Sung to the tune of Ode to Joy  
Performed by: The Marauders with help from Lily

James Potter is a Marauder  
He's the unofficial lead  
The first to be an animagi  
Though illegal it's a wondrous deed

He chased Lily for seven years before figuring out he had to change.  
They're now dating, separating James from his old lifestyle

Fortunately for the Marauders  
James can still be friends with them  
Because Lily is the nicest  
girlfriend out of all of them


	5. Ode to James II

Disclaimer: Property of me!!

Ode to James Part II  
Performed by: The Marauders(With help from Lily and James)

Sirius: Hey, hey there, antler-boy!  
Peter: We wrote a song for you, hope it gives you some..er..joy?  
Remus: You're probably out with Snape, performing some crazy ploy!  
Sirius: Sorry, mate, but youre horrible at singing!  
Remus: To Lily you are always clinging!  
Peter: Over the school you are...king..ing!  
Sirius: With help from ME!  
Remus and Peter: And us!  
Sirius: Nah, just ME.  
Remus and Peter: Oooohh, you can run but you cant flee! (run after Sirius)  
Lily: James is a big prat!  
Remus: Oh, soon youll change your mind about that!  
Lily: And why should I?  
Sirius, Remus, and Peter: Beeeecccauuusseee...  
Lily: I hate James and thats a fact!  
Sirius: Oooohh, but he made a pact!  
Peter: To love you forever!  
Lily: Oh bother.  
Sirius: And hes got annnntttllleerrrss..  
James: Say that again and you I will spear!  
Remus: Youre an antler-boy!  
Sirius: Youre an antler-boy!  
Peter: Youre an antler-boy!  
Sirius, Remus, and Peter: Oooooh, antlers, yeeeaaahh..


	6. Ode To Remus

Disclaimer: Property of watergal01…

Ode to Remus  
Performed by: The Marauders

Peter: Of all us Marauders you're the cleverest of the lot  
Sirius: So why is James head boy and you're not?  
James: Because he's a prefect and he likes what he's got!  
All: (harmonize) Ohhhhhhh

Peter: You're a werewolf. What's that like?  
Sirius: Its a perfectly joyful existance- PSYKE!  
James: You blokes are crazy, give me the mike!

DISATER, I KNOW! But isn't that what it would be like without our Remmy around?


	7. Ode to Sirius

Disclaimer: Property of Lily!!

Ode To Sirius  
Performed by: The Marauders- the newest, hottest boy band on the market!

Remus: My dear friend Sirius, serious you are not  
Peter: Of all us Marauders you are the craziest of the lot  
James: Remember covering Snape with troll snot?

Remus: You transform to a dog, thus the name Padfoot  
Peter: When you floo, you're covered in soot  
James: I couldn't think of a rhyme, so pretend I cout! 

Remus: When you walk by, to you flock the girls  
Peter: When Snape sees you, his blood curls  
James: We'll put a curse on him to make him hurl!


	8. Ode to Sirius II

Ode to Sirius Part II  
Performed by: The Fan Club

Ooh, look at you bling bling and  
Ooh, you've got me feeling  
Ooh, inside I'm screamin'  
Ooh boyyyyy....

A thug boy  
A tough boy  
A rough boy  
My kind of boy  
A cute boy  
A hip boy  
Oh you should be my boyfriend!

DISCLAIMER: No, unfortunately I did not make this up. This is the chorus from one of Samantha Mumba's songs...


	9. Ode to Sirius III

Disclaimer: Property of me!

Ode to Sirius Part III  
Performed by: Snivellus with an inturruption by the Marauders

Snivelly: Sirius is an idiot and smells like a cow -  
James: This you know HOW? ::growl::  
Peter: How now brown cow.  
James: Shut up, I'm trying to be dramatic.  
Peter: Ok.  
Snivelly: ::glares:: SMELLS LIKE A COW I SAYYYYYYYY!  
Remus: Oh joy, hooray.  
James: Thank you Mr. Sarcastic.  
Remus: You're welcome.  
James: Shut up.  
Remus: Ok. Fine.  
Snivelly: ::opera style:: SMEEEEEEEEELLLLS! SMELLS LIKE A COW I SSSSSSSSAAAAAY!  
James: Uh, that hurt.  
Remus: My ears..they..ring.  
Peter: Too much information.  
James: SHUT UP YOU DOLTS.  
Peter: Fine.  
James: Sirius is coooool!  
Snivelly: Correction, a fooooooool  
James: AND HE CAN BEAT SNIVELLY UP LIKE HELL!  
Snivelly: Really? Well well well.  
James: ::snort:: Shut up.  
Snivelly: Don't want to.  
James: DO IT.  
Snivelly: Fine.  
James: Whoot. I can control all around me ::evil cackle::  
Sirius: Except for ME! AND THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME, PRONGS.  
James: Shut up.  
Sirius: Fine.


	10. Ode To Mira

Disclaimer: Also by watergal01! Mira Arias is property of Starlight Diamonds(Kristen)!

Ode to Mira  
Performed by: The Marauders with Special Guest Soloist, Lily Evans! (Crowd cheers)  
Sung to the tune of: The Star Spangled Banner

Marauders: Ohh Mira can you see  
by the common room's dim light  
Who so proudly we hailed  
by the fireplace's gleaming  
Who's brought Spanish-type food  
in the house elves' perilous wake  
With the Marauder's Map we spied  
It was so yummily smelling!

Lily: Though the fights we rarely have  
I know you'll always be there  
Not that we need it, but with luck  
We'll be best friends forever

Marauders minus Remus: Ohh say does Miraaa  
Love Remus to deeeaaathhh  
In the school of Hogwaaaarrts  
Witchcraaaft and Wizaaardrrryyyyy!


	11. Ode to Mira II

Disclaimer: Property of me, Super Shayde!

Ode To Mira Part II

Performed by the Marauders and Lily(with a very rude interruption from Snivelly)

Sirius: Mira, that's her name!

James: Where's she from again?

Remus: You stupid dolts, she's from Spain!

Peter: Oh. I knew that!

Sirius: (affectionately) No you didn't you silly prat.

Peter: I thought I was a rat?

Sirius: Same diff.

Snape: (jumps in) Mira should fall off a cliff!

Remus: Maybe /you/ should fall off a cliff instead!

Sirius: Maybe he'd break his head!

James: Skull, you mean.

Sirius: HEAD.

James: SKUUUULLLL.

Peter: Isn't this supposed to be about Mira?

James: Yeah whatever.

Remus: (warningly) James..

Lily: JAMES..(growls)

James: Oh yeah! Uh huh right! (backs away from Lily) Mira's great!

Sirius: Though she's not always in a wonderful state. (grins)

Lily: I'm Mira's very best friend! (grins proudly)

Marauders: Frrriiieeennnddsss tilll the ennndd!

Lily: Remember the mistletoe? (evil grin)

Remus: Oh please no. (hides)

James: (looks around) Hey Moony, where'd you go?

Sirius: Poor Remmy sure is slow..(grins)

Marauders: MIIIIIRRRAA AND REEEMUUUSSS FOREVER!

Sirius: How'd that happen, anyway?

James: The singing or the looooveee?

Sirius: Both, if you call that singing.

James: Shut up.

Sirius: you shut up.

Peter: Let's all shuuuuttt uuuppp!

Remus: Shut it. We need to end this somehow.

Sirius: Fine, Moony, don't have a cow. (holds up "The End" sign)

Everyone: THHHEEE ENNND!!!!


	12. Ode To Peter

Disclaimer: Property of Lily.

Ode to Peter  
Performed by: The members of my guild

You're evil. Like Smeagol. 


	13. Ode to Peter II

Disclaimer: Property of Lily..SO TIRED OF SAYING THIS!!

Ode to Peter Part II  
Performed by: Same people

You're the animagi  
who should die.  
We'll beat you up  
spit your teeth in this cup.  
You're slow as a snail  
You should die, Wormtail!  
You had a good start  
but you weren't very smart.  
So you joined Voldemort  
An evil guy of some sort.  
You sold out your friends  
so we'll hunt you down to no end.  
We'll make you pay.  
You'll never see the light of day! 


	14. Ode To Snivellus

Disclaimer: Property of Lily

Ode to Snivellus  
Performed by: The Marauders with inturruption by Lily

Sirius: Hullo there _Snivellus_  
James: Didja miss us?!  
Remus and Peter: Uhhhh ohhhh (harmonized)

Sirius: What shall we do today?  
James: Don't let him run away!  
Remus and Peter: Caaatch hiiiim!

Sirius: You're such a stuck up bloke  
James: I think we should make him choke  
Remus and Peter: Sheeee's comiiiing!

Sirius: Great. Here comes Evans.  
James: I think I'm in heaven...  
Remus and Peter: Ohhhh noooo

Lily: What are you up to??  
Do I need to hex you??  
Remus and Peter: Nooot uuuus!


	15. Ode To Snivellus II

Disclaimer: PROPERTY OF LILY

Ode to Snivellus Part II  
Performed by: Marauders, Lily, Mira, Bellatrix, Malfoy, Lestrange, and Snape  
Sung to the tune of: London Bridge is Falling Down

Marauders

Snivellus is falling down  
falling down  
falling down  
Snivellus is falling down  
Here comes Lily!

Jamesie-poo is showing off  
showing off  
showing off  
Jamesie-poo is showing off  
Now she's yelling

Lily

Potter, you're a stupid prat  
stupid prat  
stupid prat  
Potter, you're a stupid prat  
James: Will you be my girlfriend?

Lily: I will never date you!  
Remus: Yes you will  
Sirius: Yes you will  
Lily: I WILL NEVER DATE POTTER!!  
Peter: Look, Snape's running!

Marauders

Snape can run but he can't hide  
he can't hide  
he can't hide  
Snape can run but he can't hide  
Thanks to the Marauder's Map!

Bellatrix

Ooh, let's kill the Gryffindors  
Gryffindors  
Gryffindors  
Ooh, let's kill the Gryffindors  
So we can become Death Eaters!

Rudolphus Lestrange

Yes, my love, but it must wait  
it must wait  
it must wait  
Yes, my love, but it must wait  
Because of some stupid prophecy..

Lucius Malfoy

Who gives a damn about some seer?  
about some seer  
about some seer  
Who gives a damn about some seer?  
Why don't we kill her too?

Snape

Because of Dumbledore  
Dumbledore  
Dumbledore  
Because of Dumbledore  
And I'm still in school!

James

Shut up Snape or you are dead!  
you are dead!  
you are dead!  
Shut up Snape or you are dead!  
We will really hurt you!

Mira

?Por que James es el nino de cabeza?  
el nino de cabeza?  
el nino de cabeza?  
?Por que James es el nino de cabeza?  
!Cuando Remus es mejor!

James

What did you just say about me?  
say about me?  
say about me?  
What did you just say about me?  
In that other language!

Lily  
You idiot, that language is SPANISH  
is SPANISH  
is SPANISH  
You idiot, that language is SPANISH  
You're a stupid prat!

James

Lily will you go out with me?  
out with me?  
out with me?  
Lily will you go out with me?  
Remus: Let's not have a repeated verse!

Sirius

Why is this song Ode to Snape?  
Ode to Snape?  
Ode to Snape?  
Why is this song Ode to Snape?  
It should be Ode to Sirius!!!


	16. Ode to Book Five

Ode To Book Five

Sirius: I'm locked up in my house,

In my house,

In my house,

I'm locked up in my house,

And I'm annoyed!

Harry: I really like Cho Chang

Like Cho Chang

Like Cho Chang

I really like Cho Chang

Yay, Cedric's dead!

Ron: I'm a prefect, Harry's not

Harry's not

Harry's not

I'm a prefect, Harry's not

Mwahahahaha!

Harry: Cho's stupid, she's a whiny brat

Whiny brat

Whiny brat

Cho's stupid, she's a whiny brat

I guess I made a mistake

Hermione: Harry, she's just upset

Just upset

Just upset

Harry, she's just upset

Because of Cedric!

Ginny: I'm all defiant now

Defiant now

Defiant now

I'm all defiant now

Yay, Fred and George!

Harry: Let's go save Sirius

Save Sirius

Save Sirius

Let's go save Sirius

But not you, Ginny

Ginny, Luna, and Neville: We wanna come too

Come too

Come too

We wanna come too

Don't be a prat!

Harry: Fine you can come

You can come

You can come

Fine you can come

Go get the stupid thestrals

Sirius: Oops, Bella killed me

Bella killed me

Bella killed me

Oops, Bella killed me

Now I'm all dead

Harry: I'm going to go smash things

Go smash things

Go smash things

I'm going to go smash things

Smashing things is fun

Dumbledore: You can smash whatever you want

Whatever you want

Whatever you want

You can smash whatever you want

Just listen to me

Dumbledore: There's a weird prophecy

Prophecy

Prophecy

There's a weird prophecy

Which says you're going to die

Harry: Me or Voldemort?

Voldemort?

Voldemort?

Me or Voldemort?

Who's going to survive?

Dumbledore: I dunno.

THE END


	17. Kasey's Ode to Book Six

Kasey's Ode To Waiting For Book Six

Disclaimer: Property of Kasey.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione: We are waiting for book six,  
for book six,  
for book six,  
We are waiting for book six,  
HURRY J.K ROWLING!

Ginny: She already wrote the book,  
wrote the book,  
wrote the book,  
She already wrote the book,  
IT COMES OUT JULY 16TH!

Doumbledore: Peter should die in book six,  
in book six,  
in book six,

Peter should die in book six,  
EVEN THOUGH I LOVE THE WOOOOOOORLD!


	18. Ode to Waiting For Book Six

Ode To Waiting For Book Six

Harry: I'm really, really bored

Really, really bored

Really, really bored

I'm really, really bored

All I get to do is sit on my butt

Hermione: Harry, that's fascinating

Fascinating

Fascinating

Harry, that's fascinating

Don't you think so, Ron?

Ron: Not really, Hermione

Hermione

Hermione

Not really, Hermione

I'm not too interested in Harry's butt

Hermione: That's not what I was implying!

Implying!

Implying!

That's not what I was implying!

You're immature!

Ron: Whatever.

Harry: Stop arguing, you morons

You morons

You morons

Stop arguing, you morons

These books are about me!

Ron: Yeah, well, I can't think of anything to say

Anything to say

Anything to say

Yeah, well, I can't think of anything to say

But I'm smart! Really!

Hermione: Snort snort snort snort,

snort snort snort,

snort snort snort,

Snort snort snort snort,

Skepticism!

Ron: Shut up you know-it-all

Know-it-all

Know-it-all

Shut up you know-it-all

Leave me alone!

Harry: .....

Ginny: That was pointless,

Was pointless,

Was pointless,

That was pointless,

And so is this.

Fans: HURRY UP JK!

UP JK!

UP JK!

HURRY UP JK!

WE'RE RUDE AND WON'T SAY PLEASE!

Sirius: I'm not alive anymore,

Alive anymore,

Alive anymore,

I'm not alive anymore,

And that's pretty sad.

Harry: Weep weep cry cry,

Weep cry cry,

Weep cry cry,

Weep weep cry cry,

I miss Snuffles.

Ron: Cause he snuffed?

Harry: Yeah.

Ron: Okay then.

Harry: Shut it.

Hermione: Don't be rude Harry.

Ron: Yeah we're on your side.

Harry: I'm depressed.

Ron: Yay.

Harry: I'm going to go beat up Ron now.

This song has been cut off due to graphic violence

THE END


	19. Ode To Harry

Ode To Harry

Ron: Harry's pretty cool.

Dumbledore: He's not a fool!

Snape: Yeah he is.

Ron: Shut up you old slimeball!

Snape: DETENTION, WEASLEY!

Dumbledore: cough Severus, I'm right here.

Snape: Darn, you have caught me taunting my peers.

Dumbledore: DETENTION, MR. SNAPE!

Snape: But I'm a teacher.

Dumbledore: Oh right.

Ron: cough ANYWAY…

Fred and George: We gave Harry the map!

Hermione: I wonder if Harry likes rap?

Trelawney: THE GRIM! THE GRIM!

Hermione: The Grim? Chances are pretty slim..

Trelawney: Silence, mundane girl.

Hermione: You make my blood curl!

Malfoy: Potter's spoiled, unlike me!

Ron: Harry's better than you'll ever be.

Malfoy: POTTER IS DUMBLEDORE'S FAVORITE!!

Ron: I'm going to bash you with a carrot!!

Dumbledore: While Mr. Weasley is bashing Mr. Malfoy with vegetables, I would like to say a few words. Gizmo! Contraption! Flibbertigibbet! Okay I'm done now.

THE END


	20. Kasey's Ode To SOMETHING

Kasey's Ode to…SOMETHING

Disclaimer: This is totally insane. XXD Don't blame me, Kasey wrote it! Joliet is property of….Irish! Aka Joliet! Lol.

James: Joliet is falling down,  
falling down,  
falling down,  
Joliet is falling down,  
Someone go catch her!

Joliet: Help me I am falling down,  
falling down,  
falling down,  
Help me I am falling down,  
I hope it is Sirius..

Sirius: Haha I am laughing at Snape,  
Laughing at Snape,  
Laughing at Snape,  
Haha I am laughing at Snape,  
Hey did you know Joliet is falling?

Lily: You two are stupid dolts,  
stupid dolts,  
stupid dolts,  
You two are stupid dolts,  
Where the heck is Remus?

Snape: Haha, I lost Remus in the toliet  
in the toliet  
in the toliet  
Haha I lost Remus in the toliet,  
He is trapped in the loo...

Remus: Haha I escaped out of the loo,  
out of the loo,  
out of the loo,  
I escaped out of the loo,  
(James): Hey Moony there is toliet paper on your shoe!

Dumbledore: Hey who locked the loo,  
Locked the loo,  
locked the loo,  
Hey who locked the loo,  
Cause I got to take a poo--oh wait I got it opened!

Peter: Hey Joliet just fell,  
Joliet just fell,  
Joliet just fell,  
Hey Joliet just fell,  
Wait for me Dumbledore I got to go too!


	21. Hallie's Ode To Sirius IV

Disclaimer: PROPERTY OF HALLIE!

Ode to Sirius Part IV  
Preformed by: James (with some help by Remus and Peter and Snivellus)  
To the tune of: Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

(Chorus)  
James: Sirius you may be my best mate,  
James: But I have to tell you something right now!  
James: I think you may be tiny bit mental  
Snivellus: -whispering- And I think you smell like a cow…  
The Marauders: Shut Up!

James: You are always up to something…  
Remus: You needn't point out the obvious!  
James: Fine I will get right to  
James: The point I am intending to make

James: When I first met you on the train,  
James: People had thought you innocent!  
James: But you sure proved them wrong  
James: By covering there thick heads with a gooey substance called…PEANUT BUTTER!!

Remus: Huh?  
Peter: Er. Isn't that out of tune?  
Sirius: -while hearing background music playing- Just get back to my song!

(Chorus)  
James: Sirius you may be my best mate,  
James: But I have to tell you something right now!  
James: I think you may be tiny bit mental  
Snivellus: -whispering- And I STILL think you smell like a cow…  
The Marauders: SHUT UP!

James: Sirius, I am sorry that your mental..  
Remus: James, I don't think you proved your point.  
Peter: Yea, why don't you get on with it  
Peter: And save your apologies for last.

James: You always are putting off stink bombs  
Remus: But you do that too!  
James: -ignoring Remus- And I cannot help but wonder…  
James: What happened to the newt I gave you back?  
Remus: -coughs- I think it found a way into your bed..

(Chorus)  
James: Sirius you may be my best mate,  
James: But I have to tell you something right now!  
James: I think you may be tiny bit mental  
Snivellus: -talking - And I STILL think you smell like a cow…  
Marauders: Shut UP!

James: Sirius, do you remember that one time,  
James: With the itching crème?  
James: Or that other time with the alarm clock  
James: And tying it Wormtail's fat head.  
Peter: HEY!

James: I warned all my favored schoolmates,  
James: To watched out for your pranks!  
James: And so now have I proved my point,  
James: About how Sirius is mental, and that.

-Remus and Peter whispering-  
Remus: James is the mental one…  
Peter: -watches Lily pass by- I think he is just doing it to impress her…  
Remus: My, he is a bighead!

James: -clears throat- I have one more verse!

James: Sirius, I am sorry that you're mental…  
James: Just don't go overboard.  
James: Or you'll in up in a asylum,  
James: Like your mum should have been, years ago.

James: All done!  
Sirius: Finally!  
Snivellus: -yelling- I still thinks he smells like a cow!  
The Marauders: GET HIM!!!  
……

This message has been deleted for the following reasons: Horrific Violence on Snivel- Severus Snape


	22. Ode To Lily Part III

Ode To Lily Part Three

Disclaimer: MINE. AND ALY'S.

A/N: Kayla, Mira, Lalaineand Paprika are made-up characters, if you didn't know. Just go with the flow, because I am too lazy to explain!

James: Moofwafwafwa. Lily makes me feel eeeevil!

Sirius: Word.

James: Er, don't do that.

Sirius: Yo dawg, I can do whatever I want yo.

Remus: (stares)

Peter: (chokes)

Remus: ...Sirius, shut up. We're supposed to be singing about Lily.

James: OF COURSE WE ARE! I LOVE YOU LILY!

Peter: You make James act pretty silly..

James: PETE, YOU I WILL KILLY!

Peter:cough: Actually, I'm going to kill YOU someday.

James: Thank you, Mr. Literal.

Remus: Hey Peter, stop taking my job.

James: LILY SMELLS LIKE FLOWERS!

Peter: In Charms she has many powers!

Sirius: Ooer Austin Powers.

James: LILY DOES NOT LOOK LIKE AUSTIN POWERS.

Sirius: Sure she does. Oh yeah baby.

James: LILY YOU ARE MY ONE TRUE LOVE

Remus: She, er, smells like a dove?

James: ARE YOU TRYING TO STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME?

Remus: No..(stares) (backs away)

James: Oh yes you were!

Sirius: No way dude, don't diss!

James: SHUT UP.

Peter: YEAH Sirius.

Sirius: Shut up, pawn.

Sirius: Prongs! YOU Shut up!

James: Never, not so long as I can serene my girl!

Sirius: You make me hurl.

James: (Bleah)

Peter: Ewwie! You're gross!

James: (wipes mouth) I love Lily the most!

Remus: Sirius makes James puke.

Snivelly: LILY I WANT TO NUKE

Peter: Into the rubbish bin?

Snivelly: Ohhh yeah.

James: Shut up, Snivellus or I'll kill you!

Remus: Achoo!

Sirius: Remus, don't distract us or we'll get you too!

Peter: Mew...

Remus: (sniffs Peter) HOWL!

Kayla: What about meeeeeee, James? Don't you LOVE ME?

James: Go away.

Kayla: Don't feel like it. So there.

James: SHUT UP.

Kayla: Fine. I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY!

Sirius:calls: I LIKE YOU, KAYLA!

Sirius: COME BAAAACK!

Kayla: (tosses hair) Oh really? (smirks)

Remus: Sirius, you dolt...

Sirius: (grins like wolf)

Remus: I'M THE WOLF!

Sirius: Yeah but you don't WANT to be.

Peter: Er..don't..eat..me..oo

Voldemort: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

James: AHEM, LILY! GO AWAY UGLY SNAKE FACE!

Voldy: NO ONE TALKS TO ME THAT WAY!

Voldy: GET HIM NAGINI!

Nagini: Um, hiss?

James: Who's that?

Sirius: Yeah, who?

Remus: No idea...

Peter: ...Er...

Peter: (high pitched voice) ..dunno..

Sirius: Oh yeah, punk? YOU DON'T? YOU THINK SO:trying to impress Kayla:

Remus: I miss my sanity. Actually, I miss Sirius'.

James: LILY! AHEM!

Kayla: (files her nails)

Kayla: Who cares about her?

James: I DOOOO!

Paprika: So unloved..(snifflesniffle)

Sirius: I LIKE YOU, PAPRIKA! AND KAYLA!

Paprika: JAMES, SAVE ME FROM SIRIUS! HE'S...DANGEROUS!

Sirius: Noooooooo I feel so unloved!

Lily: ME! MEEEEE!

James: No.

Paprika: (clings)

Lily: (death glare)

Peter: (death eater)

Paprika: (still clings) (sticks out tongue at Lily)

Lily: (ATTACKS Paprika)

Kayla: I don't like you anymore Sirius! YOU'RE TOO EASY TO SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT! Ooo, hi Sevvy..

Paprika: SQUEAL!

Paprika: Save me Kayla!

Kayla:ignores: SEVVY!

Sirius: I like whiny girls! (grin)

Paprika: Still not liking..(sniffs)

Moaning Myrtle: REAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLYYYYYY?

Sirius: I TAKE THAT BACK!

M.M.: I'M WHIIIINNNNYYYY!

Sirius: SAVE ME JAMES!

Sirius: (hides behind Remus)

Remus: Er, uh.. hullo Myrtle...

MM: OOoooohh, I like SHY BOYS!

Remus: Uh..Mira? Some help here? (pales)

Lily: (still attacking Paprika, now with wand)

Paprika: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Mira: MIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! (pounces)

MM: Stop, you silly girl.

Mira: (falls through ghost) Oops, forgot about that...

MM: REEMMMYYYYY!

Mira: I am in pain..

Paprika: I AM IN SERIOUS PAIN!

Sirius: You called?

James: (shouts above racket) LILY, YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE! (ducks random attackingness) YOU MAKE ME HAPPYYYYYY WHEN I'M WITH YOUUUUUUUU!

Paprika: NOOOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM ME!

Remus: You called me Remmy, prepare to die ghost girl! (brandishes wand)

Sirius: But I'm the man of your dreams, trust me!

Paprika: (is now purple, covered in green spots) Noooooooo!

Lily: (smirks) Adios, BARNEY!

Sirius: Ohhhhhh Remmy! (snicker)

Remus: DIE SIRIUS! DIE I SAY!

Sirius: Nah, I don't wanna. It doesn't sound fun.

MM: Oh, it's just my PET NAME for you, RemmyWemmy!

Remus: I am no pet. I am human. ...Sorta. HALF! HALF I SAY!

James: LILY! LILY I SAY! LILY HAS HAIR LIKE FWOOPER FEATHERS! OH YEAH!

Trelawney: (bubble eyes, scary voice) The puppy will fall through the veil at an early age... The mirror will work to no avail...

Sirius: There is a reason I didn't take divination...

Trelawney: (does eeny meeny miny mo and lands on Kayla) YOU WILL DIE NEXT TUESDAY! BEWARE A MESSY-HAIRED MAN!

Kayla: AHHHH! (jumps away from James)

James: (grins)

Trelawney: You there! (points to Remus) YOU WILL LIVE A LIFE OF DESPAIR!

Remus: There's a reason I wonder why I ever took Divination..

Mira: ...still in pain over here..

Trelawney: Waaaiiit a second.. I take that back... (points at Kayla) Beware a blonde haired girl with spectacles. She comes in disguise!

MM: YOU DESERVE IT, REMMY-STEALER!

Remus: AHHH!...Lalaine!...(runs away)

MM: Noooooo wait for me!

Sirius: Heeeeyyyy Paprikaaa...

Paprika: NO!

Lily: (attacks Kayla)

Kayla: NOOOOOOOO MY HAIR!

Sirius: (steals shiny barrettes from Kayla's hair) Oooh, shiny..

Sirius: (conjures up Love potion numba 9!)

Paprika: (runs away)

Sirius: Come drink this, my dear!

Snivelly: MAKING POTIONS IN MY JOB! (bares ugly yellow teeth and accidentally lands love potion in mouth) OH SIIIIIIIIIRRRRIIIUUSS!

Sirius: Oh god.

James: LILLLLLYYYYY! I LOVE LIILLLLLYYYYY!

Snivelly: LIIILLLYYY! I HATE LILYYYY! But..I..love..Siriwiri!

Sirius: OO PRONGS, A LITTLE HELP HERE!

Myrtle: I LOVE REMMY WEMMY LEMMY SEMMY MEMMY TEMMY HEMMY QUEMMY ZEMMY YEMMY FEMMY XEMMY!

Remus: oo hides

James: (continues "singing") LILY YOU ARE MY ENTIRE WORLD

Peter: (echo) Lily is his entire world, oh yeah!

Voldemort: (in Peter's head) But neither of their worlds will exist for long, will they...?

Peter: Uh..no..no master, no!

Everyone: (stares at Peter)

Sirius: You said that aloud, mate.

Peter: NO I DIDN'T! (runs away sobbing)

Lily: (glares at James) You're such an ignorant PRAT! WHAT did you do THIS TIME!

James: NOTHING MY LOVE! (glomps Lily)

Lily: (drop kicks James to Never Never Land (from Peter Pan))

James: (sobs) NOOOOOOOO MY LOVE!

Mira: A LITTLE HELP, HERE?

Sirius: Nah, doesn't sound like fun..

Paprika: (hidden)

Lily: OH PAPRIKA!

Paprika: (doesn't breathe)

...And then everybody fainted because of so much ode-ness, because Super Shayde is too lazy to finish the Ode.

End note from Alysnipper/Lily/watergal01: Little Kid: MOMMY! screams THEY'RE ENDING ODE TO LILY PART III!

Mother: holds ice to forehead and takes an aspirin Yes, darling, that's lovely. Isn't it naptime yet?

Little Kid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


	23. Ode to Writing A New Story

Ode to Kristen Writing A New Story

By Super Shayde/Amanda

Peter: I'm in the story! I'm in the story!  
Snape: (sneer) You're sure a bore..-y.  
James: Lay off my slave, Snape! -- I mean, friend.  
Peter: (secretglare) These wounds will never mend..  
Snape: Fine, Potter..but I WILL BE BACK!  
Lily: Potter, you I should smack!  
James: What did I do?  
Lily: Stop being such a foo'! (huff)  
Remus: That was a pathetic rhyme..  
Dumbledore: It's class time!  
Everybody: NOOOOOOOOOO!  
Dumbledore: YESSSSSSSSS!  
Snape: I hate you, Dumbledore.  
Dumbledore: Too bad. Now go to Herbology.  
Everybody: But...fiiine.  
James: I'M STILL GOING TO GET YOU, SNAPE!  
Sirius: SOON ENOUGH YOU WON'T BE IN GREAT SHAPE!  
Remus: (hides behind book)  
McGonagall: DUMBLEDORE SAID HERBOLOGY!  
Everybody: Fine! (drag selves off to class)


End file.
